Exhaustion

If you are a mom, you have more than likely been roused from deep sleep by the piercing screams of an infant, who, as luck would have it, you are responsible for.  You fumble through the dark to put an end to the dreadful wailing using whatever method you think might end in success (No, I'm not referring to some ghastly deed! A bottle, diaper change, etc.).  Last night. I endured a night such as this.  As I laced up my running shoes this morning and began my first steps, I felt like I was hit by a truck.  I realize that my attempt to shrink to my old size might take more time than I thought.  You may already be aware of the benefits our bodies reap from a good night's sleep.  You may also know that depriving you body of this much needed rest will cause your metabolism to be altered, thereby resulting in weight gain (Patel, Malhotra, White, Gottlieb, & Hu, 2006). That being said, I am going to blame my being overweight on my kids who insist on waking up 500 times a night for various reasons.  Last night it was Alisi who had a bad dream and Lusi who was just screaming.  Now I get to try finalizing Outcome #3 of my portfolio so I can turn it in tomorrow.  All I want to do is sleeeepppp!

Patel, S. R., Malhotra, A., White, D. P., Gottlieb, D. J., & Hu, F. B. (2006). Association between reduced sleep and weight gain in women. American journal of epidemiology, 164(10), 947-954.

The Run

For anyone who knows me, you know I must run.  Since picking up where I left off in my Master's program, I have found it a challenge to have time to do anything, let alone go for a run.  Now that I am taking only one (and the final) course, I am once again hitting the pavement.  

My innate drive to overdo takes over in most aspects of my life.  Whether it is eating a bag of cinnamon bears or running, I do things to the max.  Some might say this is a fortunate quality to have, and it may be at times, but it can also be somewhat of a curse.  As I have taken up running again, I applied the same gusto to it as I do to other things, resulting in very sore ankles and a previous hip flexor injury ominously threatening once again.  I decided it was okay to try walking.  I see other people out walking and they seem to feel satisfied with themselves.  I somehow feel less of a person if I am walking.  Mind you, I must be out the door at 6:30 am if I want to have sufficient time to exercise, so I didn't want to waste it simply walking.  I did try walking for a few days and each time returned home without breaking a sweat.  I walked for about 45 minutes and covered about 3.40 miles.  Today however, I decided to run three minutes and walk one.  The results were tremendous!  I was able to keep a 12:30 pace (yes, I know that is extremely slow compared to what you run) and feel like I did not waste my morning.  I covered about 4.5 miles today and I felt like I could have gone even farther.  Now that I think about it, that is how I trained for the half marathon I did ages ago. I did a walk run until I had built up the endurance to run the full distance. It’s not that I can't run 5 miles because I am out of breath.  My lungs aren't the issue.  My problem is my legs (and apparently my ankles) are not strong enough to get me there.  

So I guess I am starting from scratch.  I have come to terms with this.   I just don't want to jeopardize a lifetime of running by permanently injuring myself because I want it all now.   I have to take it slow and work for it, just as I do everything else in life.  The only way to become a good runner, is to work hard. As long as I have a good book in my ear and sweat on my brow, I will get there and have a good time doing it. 

Happiness

Do I seriously have time for this? Absolutely not!  I realize I haven't posted anything for about 5 years and that is just deplorable.  Who in their right mind has time to keep up with a blog when they have 5 children, 2 businesses to run, a Master's degree to finish, and a house to keep clean?  I'll tell you what this is...a stalling tactic.  At this very moment I am supposed to be demonstrating my "ability to apply the techniques and principles of second language assessment, ant to interpret the results of such assessments in determining language proficiency and student progress". 

Despite all the commotion in my present situation, I feel happy.  Anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed, but I must admit that peeking over the top of all these emotions is happiness!  I have a husband who bends over backward to make my life easier.  I have children who are kind and loving to me (not so much to each other) and a mother who is there to listen and back me up if ever I am in desperate need of assistance.  Above all, I find comfort in my testimony of Jesus Christ who I know is aware of me and my little family.  I know He understands what I am going through and that the only reason I have made it thus far is because Him. 

And so as I sit here typing away, thinking of the 27 page teachers test guide that I should be editing, while overhearing the contagious laughter of 3 year old Sefa, as he points out that his dad is showing his belly button on their way to the hot tub, just feeling happy.